In Your Arms

Believe it or not, I used to pray. I used to lay in bed under weekend quilts, in a room that was not mine. I would place my hand on things, bandages. Salty pillow case wet with a child’s hurt and confusion. Blue light reflecting from the boombox. The same songs I listen to now….

this christmas

Happy holidays Feels assumptive. Truthfully? I can not remember my last happy holiday. Family says they care so they check. They don’t know me. I would never do That on Christmas.

Sharp Objects

The bathroom filled with fog and I turned on my music  before I stepped into the shower. High as Hope began to play. I sang along while I lathered my body. I hummed along to Sky Full of Song and then I paused when I found myself staring at my scars. I thought I was…

PTSD

When the relationship ended I would not have guessed that I would have had my entire existence broken in the aftermath. I’ve found myself being mindful and introspective now that our new normal has begun. I am unraveling a complicated relationship, I am re-remembering a decade worth of memories and I’m beginning to address my…

sober

i couldn’t stand your touch when i was sober remembering what the lips that kissed mine said the hands that threw the mug are caressing me touch. penetrate. brown, preferably. kissless. moans; pity-filled. you have no idea. life’s too clear when you’re sober.

Fracture

With each passing day I find myself more amazed by the ways in which the brain protects itself. As a result of my childhood traumas, I have developed an insanely effective and diverse cache of defense mechanisms. I feared being abused or otherwise hurt so I tried to be very agreeable. I found what brought…