a reminder for self

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life  

i ain’t got the 5

For nearly ten years I made a concerted effort to choose my words carefully. To choose which thoughts and feelings I felt safe sharing. That was just too much time for me to be without a voice or with a voice that was hushed to soothe ego. I know that in fighting this depression, I’m…


  My childhood is a Topic. It’s interesting how everyone else experienced that time. Then there is how I experienced this time. As a young child, no one really tried to talk to me about anything so I spent a lot of time alone with my own thoughts. I spent a lot of time alone,…

an uphill fall

  When we lived in Brooklyn, after much fighting and all that, it felt strained between us. It wasn’t my doing, but it felt like it was my job to figure out how to make it right. I carried that task (so much so my therapist called me on it within a month or two…

In Your Arms

Believe it or not, I used to pray. I used to lay in bed under weekend quilts, in a room that was not mine. I would place my hand on things, bandages. Salty pillow case wet with a child’s hurt and confusion. Blue light reflecting from the boombox. The same songs I listen to now….

this christmas

Happy holidays Feels assumptive. Truthfully? I can not remember my last happy holiday. Family says they care so they check. They don’t know me. I would never do That on Christmas.