in the dark

Science says that alcohol thins your blood. They’re not lying. I have a vivid image of my bathroom tiles smeared with blood. I didn’t expect to see that much. It wasn’t alarming or anything. I don’t think I’d ever seen that much blood before. He helped clean it up. I remember feeling joy that he…

breathe again

(trigger warning: suicide, self harm, abuse) Amidst feeling some existential angst, my friend died of an overdose on 1/9/17.  Things started to decline then. The path that had been cobbled before me brought me to this perfect zenith. It was here that I was able to feel all of the pain and trauma that I…

In Your Arms

Believe it or not, I used to pray. I used to lay in bed under weekend quilts, in a room that was not mine. I would place my hand on things, bandages. Salty pillow case wet with a child’s hurt and confusion. Blue light reflecting from the boombox. The same songs I listen to now….

Sharp Objects

The bathroom filled with fog and I turned on my music  before I stepped into the shower. High as Hope began to play. I sang along while I lathered my body. I hummed along to Sky Full of Song and then I paused when I found myself staring at my scars. I thought I was…