a reminder for self

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life  

trace

  My childhood is a Topic. It’s interesting how everyone else experienced that time. Then there is how I experienced this time. As a young child, no one really tried to talk to me about anything so I spent a lot of time alone with my own thoughts. I spent a lot of time alone,…

an uphill fall

  When we lived in Brooklyn, after much fighting and all that, it felt strained between us. It wasn’t my doing, but it felt like it was my job to figure out how to make it right. I carried that task (so much so my therapist called me on it within a month or two…

Sharp Objects

The bathroom filled with fog and I turned on my music  before I stepped into the shower. High as Hope began to play. I sang along while I lathered my body. I hummed along to Sky Full of Song and then I paused when I found myself staring at my scars. I thought I was…

Fracture

With each passing day I find myself more amazed by the ways in which the brain protects itself. As a result of my childhood traumas, I have developed an insanely effective and diverse cache of defense mechanisms. I feared being abused or otherwise hurt so I tried to be very agreeable. I found what brought…

What do you accept?

Self-pity is something that I’m trying to be mindful of when I start reflecting. There are some things that I have to remember. For example, yes, I tried my best and gave too much but that doesn’t mean that is enough to change how someone treats you. A person will treat you how they want….